This is how i disappear;

Monday, October 15, 2007

quizta claus pays a visit.

About guys,Turned ON, OFF or DM (Don't matter):

Is taller than you: On.
Is shorter than you: Off. Thats just weird.
Wears braces: On. I wear braces too.
Dresses Preppy: Depends on how preppy.
Dresses Ghetto: Off.
Dresses Gothic: On, to a certain extent.
Has blue eyes: On, but it doesn't really matter i guess.
Has green eyes: On, doesn't really matter though.
Has hazel eyes: On
Has brown eyes: On
Drinks alcohol: On. Not too much.
Wears glasses: Off. but i dont mind.
Smokes: Off. smokers suck, and they are bad kissers.
Plays sports: DM
Smiles a lot: On
Calls you just to say Hi: DM. But I'll like it if he calls to say iloveyou. :D
Compliments you: On.
Likes to talk: On, but not too much shit. Must know when to talk and when to shut up.
Shy and quiet: Off.
Good dancer: On.
Wears jewelry: i don't know. necklaces, ew. piercing, hellyeah.
Smiles when you walk in the room: On i guess
Has brown hair: On.
Has Black hair: On, if it looks good on him.
Has blonde hair: On if it's not fake ahbeng blonde kind, but natural.
Has red hair: On, if its natural.
Makeup: Off. mostly.
Can make you laugh at any given moment: ON.
Loyal: On.
Laid back: On.
Plays guitar: On.
Plays piano: DM
ays drums: On.
Sing: On.
He's buff (muscles): On.
Easily jealous: On.
Doesn't eat meat: DM.
Has a tattoo: DM. as long as its not some hugeass dragon shit.
Has a lip ring: On.
Tongue ring: DM.
Is of a different religion: Off. I want a christian.
Puts close friends before you: off.

Oookay, that was so random, but who doesn't like doing quzzes right?

Monday, April 02, 2007

at kap with kath and lots

3/4 of the crew went out to KAP on Friday. it was fun! haha and really retarded. (CHARMAINE WE MISS YOUU!)

anyway these are the pictures taken from charlotte's blog.

three quarters of DA CREW.

you know you love us (:

TKAMB.

teddy bear club!

kath likes the spoon

emooooo

emooooooooo

hello mr gay phone

hellomoto!

kathleen doing the doodoo groove

kath wentz!

kath wentz again

cara wentz!

lot's burger (it has blackheads and pores)

bang and drama

laughter is good.

spasticity

haunt youuu

Thursday, March 29, 2007

i'm officially a feminist.
girls rule boys drool indeed.

watching 'i don't love you' by my chemical romance. it's interesting.

Gerard Way is the hottest guy ever lived.
his voice is sex redifined.and i could just get lost in his beautiful hazel eyes.. and his lashes are like HOW LONG la. omg i'm in love. go watch the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8bvtcg7Gak

for some reason i can't paste the video here.
he dyed his hair back to black. omg i love it so much.
but longer hair is sexier. ;)

anyway i'm feeling better now. thanks everyone for the caring messages. lovelove!

(after i re-read this post, it didn't sound like it was written by me. that's a good thing.)

Monday, March 19, 2007

i love bullet for my valentine!
zomgxzxz.
they are the awesomest! their music is SO metal. it's the BEST.
all their songs are nice. i just want to SCREAM along with all their songs. gotta love all that screaming. and the guitar is WHOA.
okay anway.
today i was feeling quite crappy after school cos of you. but it's okay, you poor little SAD asshole, i'm ready to give up on you.
yes, you make me cry.
yes, you make me depressed and nutty.
yes, you watch me cry and feel a sense of victory.
but i forgive you.

i'm feeling angry because of listening to so much bullet for my valentine, and even though i may sound strong now, i'm probably gonna start crying again later on.

but LA-DEE-FREAKING-DAH you can take your STUPIDITY and SHOVE IT UP YOUR STINKY ASS.

i feel this need to listen to emocore/heavymetal music nowadays. whenever i'm sad, i listen to bullet for my valentine and i'm better.

i'm hoping this phase will pass soon, cos i still want to be able the listen to christian music and feel peaceful. i like feeling peaceful.

well today i was quite hyper and unusually happy, until YOU came along.
nvm, i'm not going to continue and make myself sad. i want to keep this angry mood.

there's a pulse and its deafening
I cant help what i hear in my head,
Its the switch that i flip they said,
Hand of Blood
I dont wanna feel like my heart is breaking,
Hand of Blood
I dont wanna see that life is burning

Thursday, March 08, 2007

a, b and c are friends.
c is moody nowadays, so a and b just talk to each other and leave c out. is that right? i don't know. i guess c understands that if she has nothing to say, b and c can't do anything to include her. she understands. but it's still quite painful for c to not be close to anyone anymore. c is the type that needs true friends to support her whenever she's down, cos she's always down.

C has friends, but she does not know if they're true. if every single one of them can be trusted.

if b and a leave c out, what should she do?

1) just smile at them, be really friendly, pretend nothing happened and bottle everything inside.

2) act really cold towards them and bottle up everything inside.

3) scold them for leaving her out, for being bitches and contributing to her depression.

normally c will do option 2. but lately she's been wondering, what good will it do, being cold to them? she's tried option 3 before but it just made it worse. so she's going to try option 1 for as long as she can take it.

c is extremely emotional. she cries very easily, and she hates it. so she's going to try to channel her frustration and sadness into anger. she's not going to cry anymore.

just keep holding on.

i just have to keep believing that everything will be alright soon.

i wanna change so badly. i hate who i am. i don't have any hands to hold anymore. i'm falling, who's gonna catch me? i'm bleeding, who's gonna be my tourniquet? lately i've been drowning in my self pity and my seemingly never ending chain of blood from the wound in my soul, i've not had much time for God. where is he when i need him?

lately i feel like i can't really trust anyone anymore. it's scary, i used to be the person who could trust anyone at all, just show me that you like me for who i am. but no, that's not enough. i can't tell who likes me for who i am and who likes me for who i'm not. i'm moody, i have a lot of hatred, i'm angry, i'm sad, i'm confused. and so as a result i'm quieter in school. every day i get people asking me 'are you okay?' at least twice a day. my reply is always the same: i nod. just a gentle nod, cos it's the most ambiguous reply i can think of. NO, I'M NOT O-FUCKING-KAY. I'M DYING FROM A WOUND IN MY SOUL, DON'T YOU SEE IT? no, you don't. you don't like me for who i am.

yes, you may say i am acting emo or trying to be someone i'm not. it's not true. i'm not acting. i need help. i'll probably get split personalites soon if i continue like this. or maybe bi-polar disorder.

i'm going to try to be as happy as i can, to hide behind the mask of my wide grin and inject as much enthusiasm as i can into everything i do. maybe if i act enough, it may just become real.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

happy cny!

happy chinese new year everyone!
well, i had the usual tang yuan fan. it was okay, nothing much out of the ordinary happened. my brother accidentally squirted my grandma's eye with fishball juice though.
anyway, later on, i bathed. i was singing 'big spender', when i realised i had an audience. i looked to my left and staring at me was a yellow lizard. it was gross. i could see it's black veins and beady eyes and all. seeing it, i did the obvious thing.
i screamed, pointed the shower head at it, and squirted the little pervert, forgetting that lizards liked water. (i think).
instead of falling out the window, it climbed up the wall. i don't know how it managed that because the walls were all wet from my drunken stupor of attempting to squirt it (i had 2 glasses of white wine). i felt my modesty had been violated, so i quickly got out of the shower to wrap a towel around myself.
the stupid pervert FOLLOWED ME. it climbed on the CEILING and FOLLOWED ME. this was when i realised it was probably a male lizard.
i wrapped the towel around myself, then the lizard FELL OFF THE CEILING. thank goodness it didn't fall onto me, but it fell onto the patch of mat next to me, which was bad enough.
i screamed and kicked at the mat, and it scurried off behind the toilet bowl.
damn thing saw me naked. wtf. such a pervert la.
LIZARDS ARE PERVERTS. eek.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

V. day

i'm in the computer lab now.. still feeling quite sad today. i don't know why this time.
anyway happy valentine's day everyone! my love extends to you. heh.
i am a little more cheered up today cos i got more than i expected. thanks for the gifts! looovvvee!
i'm stoning.. i don't know what to blog about.
ehh.. nvm. i'll blog later.